I was reading Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis (TA) in his book Games People Play. And recalled something I had read long back. A book called I'm OK you're OK by Harris.
Berne talks in detail about the Parent, Child and Adult hidden within us. Understanding the hidden PAC helps us transact interactions with people around us. And when communications fail we may still tear our hair and wail. But we would know if it was the Child in us that is reacting or the Parent. And in Adult mode we could sit back, analyse, ... and if so desire...continue to tear hair.
But I also happened to watch a movie with a the terrific use of TA in the movie. Have you watched 12 Angry Men? We did. And we were glued to it the entire time. It all happens in a closed room. They are the jury for a murder trial. They have to give an all consensus verdict of guilty or not-guilty. The movie begins with 11 saying GUILTY and one man adamantly sticking to a NOT-GUILTY verdict and making them late for a baseball match! Watch the movie for an intriguing interplay of emotions, prejudices and even a nonchalant attitude to task on hand...
a guaranteed must watch! here is a link for 12 angry men if you wish to watch it online.
You could read just the script too. But when you read the script you realize how much more the director and the actors have added to make this a memorable experience.
Like Eric Berne says in his Transactional Analysis
words form a mere 7% of the communication
the remaining is composed of facial expression, pause, grimace, body language etc
Have you seen, sometimes a person says something
and you feel irritated, or hurt or depressed
and when you confront the person
he says, whaaat, i only said ---
well it's not just the words ... it's the way it was said .. the inflection, the tone, the raised eyebrow...
but how do you tell them now?
the moment and the expression are all gone.
only the hurt remains.
when men talk they say a lot more than mere words....
Our boxer is a thinker