If the shoe fits, wear it

Cinderella did! And look what it brought her.

The guy who protests the loudest is the one who is guilty.
Arguments spiral out of context because one of the two is not willing to wear the shoe even if it fits.

If the description is true, if the accusation is valid, if the compliment is justified ...
accept it with grace.
if the shoe fits, wear it.

a shoe that fits

A cat may look at a king

The internet breaks down many a wall. Open almost any site and you have a window at the end of the page that invites you to leave your comment. Comments, advices ... jeers and insults ... all distributed at will.

10 years ago we watched an event on TV and fumed in the obscurity of our living rooms. If we were audacious enough to voice opinions we were told in curt Kannada ... Neenu yelli - avanu yelli ... meaning look at you ... huh? where are you and where is he??
So accepting the truth of the times badava nee madagnathe iru  ... we remained mute*

Today we twitter, we blog, we leave a comment, upload a video, and with no hint of a blush. The cat (or even a rat) not only looks at a king, it meows it yawns and makes other noises too!

The proverb implies that a person may not be that great but that does not deny him certain rights. He is not entirely restricted in the presence of a superior.
What are you doing?
I am writing Sachin's biography
WHAT? You are going to write Tendulkar's biography?
Well,  a cat can look at a king. So. Why not?

But of course there is a world of difference between LOOK and SEE.
A cat may look but would he really comprehend the king? Would he really see?

* kannada proverb: literally: poor man you be what u are

Banana leaf meal

About a traditional Kannada Brahmin special meal

the Outhana

Outhana is pronounced with a flat th.

An Outhana is a special meal served as a send-off to guests who have stayed over a few nights. An outhana is made for a daughter-soninlaw, aunt-uncle, sister-BIL, or visiting parents

Preparation begins early in the morning as there is lots to cook! The meal will include -

• payasa (kheer made with milk and rice or milk and sevai )
• kosambari (dal-veggie salad) 2 types ... for making only one is a big no-no
• palya (spicy shallow fried veggies) 2 types
• gojju (yummy sweet sour) we wait eagerly to taste this
• kalasida anna (flavoured rice) 
• rice - sambar - saaru (white rice served with dal-veg) main course
• bajjis or bondas or ambode (all fried crisp treats) in a kannada home a vada is never made for special occasions. Vada is associated with sadder events.
• sweet (a burfi, mysorepak, holige, coconut-mitai, whatever )
• curd and rice

a good meal always begins with a spoon of payasa at the lower right hand corner of banana leaf / plate

We mix rice with sambar or saaru and scoop it up with our hands right into our mouth. We literally chase the rice round the plate and catch it by surprise!

All this food is served with lots of fun and love. There may have been stressful moments during the stay. But that is momentarily set aside. Guests are coaxed to eat more. It is quite usual to see guests spread their palms wide over their leaf saying No-NO and the host slips in a fried treat from a space on the side!

The meal is followed by a relaxed offer of elle hakkoli ... meaning well (eat leaf!) no not the banana leaf ... they are offered beetel leaf and areca nuts.

Some parting gift usually in the form of clothes has been surreptitiously bought! It is brought out on a tray with haldi-kumkum and fruits. The lady is asked to be seated. She is offered the gifts ceremoniously. This is a serious business.
The gift giving shows mutual respect and affection.
The guest makes appropriate noises....yaake thondre... why all this trouble?
You should not have brought all this
but of course she is pleased.
You see ... its not the gift that matters
it is the honour with which it was given. it is the thought that matters.

-----------------------
most of the time when we are angry it a reaction to hurt ego. Our wise forefathers knew that. The ceremonial outhana soothed jagged nerves. Made everyone feel wanted .. egos got pacified.
think about it
next time someone is cynical or rude ... pamper their ego