Juicy Mango bites

A Painting and a Story #6

The Summer Sun is up early! And Meenu (short for Meenakshi) rises with the Sun! She is visiting her grandparents ALONE for a week and wants to make the most of this elusive event. Today her Thatha - her Grandpa - is taking her to his farm-house on the outskirts of Bangalore. With Idli-chatni in her tummy and some snacks in a bag she is ready. Jagga drives the jeep, Thatha and Meenu settle into their places behind him. Thatha shows her important buildings and temples of the city as they pass by. Meenu is thinking of the chakli in the bag!

Look! Says thatha can you see a puddle on the road? Meenu nods. Yes she can. No big deal. 'Thatha I've seen puddles. It is water'. She clarifies. 'Keep looking at it. I will make it disappear!' says thatha. 

Meenu intrigued, watches with wide open eyes. As they approach the puddle... true to his word... the puddle disappears! The tar road is dry! They try that again with the next one. Lo and Behold! That disappears too. Her thatha does magic! Meenu is thrilled. 

Thatha says, that's a MIRAGE. The sun shine makes it seem as if there is water. It's not really there! Meenu watches more puddles on hot tar road, that are not really there, are not true! Mirage, Meenu repeats the word and makes it her own.

They reach the farmhouse. Rows of marigold dance in the breeze, their rich fragrance fills the air. A mango tree stands close by, its branches heavy with fruits. She watches Jagga pluck a few ripe ones. Meenu learns to bite into a ripe mango and drink up the pulp. Jagga turns philosophical. 'The mango tree is so generous! He does not eat a single fruit, gives it all to us!' He says with reverence. 

'That is a mirage' - says Meenu. Thatha gives a loud guffaw. 'What?' he asks fondly. 'My teacher says, trees want water air and sunlight. Mango tree is getting what it wants. We are getting what we want. Both are happy'. Jagga has no answer to this pragmatic wisdom! Thatha tries to tell her that she can't use the word like that... then gives up with a humph!

Is happiness reserved for some event in the future. A promotion, a praise, a present? To experience joy with every breath. Now that would be living! 

My painting for this week is an Indian-ink creation of Krishna playing the flute. I made this for my Uncle. 

Indian Ink - Krishna playing the flute

A Strange Kind of Paradise

The breeze moved gently through the leaves of the peepul tree. And the leaves sighed in the comfort. The sound of temple bells are heard in the distance. And a faint dust arises and the cows huddle to pastures.

A village man leans against the hard bark. In a slow paced soft voice he narrates history. The words wrap round us. And all of us who sat on the stone platform around the peepul tree feel comforted by the stories he weaves.

Some of them are true and some more dreamy. One never knew where fact ended and fiction began.
He tells us about a man with four names.

• Chen Hui was born in China in about 600 AD he says. And I conjure in my mind ... a sallow face, long tight plait, thin legs and lean body... basically a nondescript young man.
• Actually you must have read about him in your school books. There he is listed as Hiuen Tsang he explains. And my eyes brighten. I have pictured Hiuen Tsang during my impressionable school days as a neat man with a long retinue of soldiers and helpers. A traveller who came, saw and documented. Though I was never sure why he did so.
• He travelled to India where he is more popular as Tripitaka he says. The man who came to study the three caskets of manuscripts on Buddha. And I conjure in my mind a monk, wise and graceful. Also a little fiery and determined.
• Now the official spelling of his name is changed to Xuanzang, he tells us. And there is a pop in my head. The name means nothing to me. It conjures no image. I am shattered.

Stories change without warning. Now he is talking about the British Raj. And my wanders and when I return we learn about St. Thomas and his no-sex even for married couples tenet.
He shows us interesting pictures and what I thought was his fiction comes alive as fact.

This is how I feel while I read a book by Sam Miller. A Strange Kind of Paradise. I still have a long way to go to finish it. But I think this is a book I will come back to again and again. A book that I will talk to!!

----------------------------

Day Begins

The fabulous aroma of breakfast cooking fills the kitchen. What is it? Coffee-toast or aalu paranthas and chatni or hot idlis with sambar
It is food that your family loves to eat.... or gets to eat. It is food that prepares you for the day.
Take a deep breath. This is your home. This is your kingdom. This is your haven.
What conversation flows in around at this time? I assume it is light banter and crisp instructions, interspersed with desperate hollering and choice name calling?

• Hi Darling you know what I want to eat for breakfast today?...you! aaaukch
• Huh? oh! ok. Run the washing machine I have sorted the garments into it.
• Puttooo getttt uuuup

Anything is better than eerie silence. For when you hear the voice of loved ones in the morning your heart goes...Oh man!! And the heart plays a teen taal. thakdinadin And it prepares you for the day ahead. But what are you thinking of while you go about the practiced chores of getting ready and breaking fast? It suddenly hits you.
Today is the day you will...
face the client
fire the maid
talk to you teenager
meet the bankers
go for audition
enter the gym
....??
FEAR has a way of catching up. And you suddenly find him sitting next to you. Sipping a cuppa while your throat is parched.
This is STAGE FRIGHT. You don't need to be a singer or have to make a speech to feel stage fright. There are things we put on our to-do list that we know we would rather avoid. But they are there for we know we are supposed to do them. And that's when we face stage fright. Sharpness of breath, tightness in the chest, queasy tummy, throat is dry and legs shake.

the spotlight is on you

Hasn't the bard told us? All world's a stage and men mere players...
We face stage fright everyday. And we do overcome it. We have to. Or the world would move on and we would be dashing after it. We have our own methods
we pretend to be brave
we are pushed by need
we rush into it
we do it through email

Watch this hilarious talk on overcoming stage fright.

---------------------
and another day begins. Have a good one.  :)

The First Things

What is the first thing you do when you come out of the confines of a bath?

My Father always emerged from his bath wrapped in a fresh white dhoti. He would fling a white muslin shalya around his shoulders and walk with single minded attention to the prayer room and place a dot of red between his eyebrows. Ten minutes later tinkle of the small brass bell and aroma of burning camphor filled the air. We trooped into the room and waited for our turn to take the aarti. And we felt blessed.

Yes. The prayer room. The lighting of lamps. The aarti with a camphor flame. The shlokas. These are rituals.

God, Universe, Supreme... give any name ... is pleased with devotion. I don't think He really cares if you forgot to place bits of areca-nut on aligned betel-leaves.... or pinched the skin of the mousambi on offering just so...

It's the thought that matters.

But what's with this mind of ours? Like the flutter of pigeons on a roof top that suddenly scatter at the burst of a firecracker, a hundred thoughts are eager to take the mind to a thousand destinations ..... phatak-dhum.

Seth Godin tells me if you think you should do it. You will.

Does Cola make me happy because the ad says it does??

You are more prepared to laugh at jokes when you go to a stand-up comedy show. You are more prepared for idle chatter when you attend a party. You are more inclined to serious conversation after an intellectual movie. 

So when Anna was performing the daily ritual .... maybe on some days his mind was on the board meeting he would attend? or on a Deal that he was about to close? But the prayer room by virtue of daily ritual had acquired a certain 'This is what you should do here' aura.

Hence when we went to the prayer corner we felt blessed. And gathered our thoughts, stilled our minds, if only for minutes, (or seconds) and emerged rejuvenated and recharged.

So maybe there is something in rituals? A ritual that is not imposed. A ritual that is admired and internalized? A ritual that is followed everyday until it becomes second nature?

Allot a zone at home to write, to cook, to worship

and the spot acquires the ability to guide thoughts!

When you are 'not in the mood' the zone will help you with its acquired aura!

I suddenly write here in defense of rituals!!!
And I always thought ... I hate rituals!

---------------------------
I know now. I like my rituals. I just hate it when others make me try to follow theirs!

Do we need the Daily Bath

Amma I have to go for my bath.

I will tell him to call you later. He is having his bath.

Tell Ajja the water is hot. He can go to bath.

I had thought of bath as two buckets of warm water - a plastic mug - and soap. This was modified to sporadic jerks of water from a temperamental shower head - and silky body wash.... until our trip to the US.

warm water and plastic mug

With absolutely no intentions of buying anything, we spent an hour at  the Bed&Bath section of a well stocked mall. A trim sales girl came up to us and asked, 'Do you take baths often?' 'Huh?' we thought. What a question. And then we notice that we are wandering through bathtubs. Soaking in a tub - that is what she defines as BATH. Water trickling down head and shoulders is SHOWER not bath!

The concept of soaking in dirty water (to me) is one big uggh! There were times in Europe when ONE tub of water was used by members of the family for their BATH. The eldest went in first and then the rest in descending order of age. Hence when it was the turn of the youngest baby the water became quite opaque! And that is the origin of the proverb: Don't throw the baby with the bathwater.

• A morning shower with a mild body-wash cleanses away the sweat and grime, washes away the lethargy, pumps up blood circulation and gives the day a good start.
• A morning shower with a soft smile on the lips cleanses away grouse and gripe, washes away doubts and fears, pumps up hope and charity and gives life a good start.

No matter if you are in a tropical climate or not

No matter if there is water a plenty or little

No matter if you sweat it out or laze it out

A bath with a smile 

is a must. What say you?

------------------------------

How to Sleep Late and Get up Early

You can invent something or publish 4 books or climb up a sheer wall to considered wise and achieving. Or, You can just be an early riser! One universal symptom of being wise and motivated is Getting Up Early.

The moment someone tells you... Oh I get up at 5. I like going for early morning walks... There you have that inevitable Guilt Feeling rising up your throat and plonking on your shoulder. and you secretly Hate Them Early Risers...!!! just a little bit... just for a few moments...

What if you are a night owl? What if you like to read into the wee hours of the night? Or you just need those 10 hours of sleep? How then do you stake your claim to the 'wise and the worthy' title? I Googled. And found many pointers.

• Sleep early to get up early
• Turn on the lights as soon as you wake up
• Keep the alarm clock / cell phone far away from your bed
• Sign up for an early morning gym class

But be warned. Above methods are good. But mine are better...
If early rising is important to you follow my list here. This is bound to make you early riser in a jiffy.

1. Have a maid who leans on your doorbell and half past six in the morning
2. Have a cat in your neighbourhood that will drink up the packet of milk if you don't bring it in as soon as the milk-guy drops it off
3. Keep a pet dog that wants to poop at 6
4. Set the mechanical kitchen timer. It will not turn off till you go there and whack it.
5. Have a baby and bring it up in the Indian grandma-pampered way.

I write in defense of Late Risers.
It is nice to be wise and worthy without feeling guilty!
---------------------------
The early bird gets the worm. But perhaps it gets the worm that is fuzzy and walks slow because it got up too early?

Love and Friendship

Yesterday we went to a restaurant here for dinner. 

The place is done up in punjabi dhaba style. Small mirrors on the wall, hanging lanterns, low seats with roll pillows, bright torans and pottery decor on the tables. We choose a table and sink into the cushions.  Tall glass with green chillies, aam panna and onions in vinegar are placed to tingle taste buds. A young man in green sherwani and embroidered vest  smiles us the menu book. A while after he has placed the platter of starters he comes by to inquire ... happys? and when we are done with the starters he offers ... cleans? He walks with a skip, he serves food with style and clears the table with quiet.

He has made friends with his profession. And he makes dining a happy experience for us.

He respects what he does. He values the comfort of every customer. I am sure he has hopes and dreams. He trusts his work to get him what he desires. RESPECT and TRUST are the basics of Love. 

I notice 

where there is respect and trust - home, office, shop, whatever

there is peace and growth

there is an atmosphere of comfort and acceptance

the mind is free to aspire and climb

I wonder

are respect and trust to be won?

or to be given?

Must one work to gain trust and respect? 

Or is it something you either get from a person or do not?
like the rejection of his bahu  by the stubborn father of kabhi kushi kabhi gam
or like Scrooge's mistrust of Christmas vacations in Charles Dickens
or like Hitler and the Jews

what do you think? Is respect and trust. to be won or to be given?

This is the season of love. A season of pink hearts and chocolates and ribbons

A season of respect and trust

May you have overwhelming love and friendship in your life

Happy Valentine's Day

------------------------

The abundant love that you give me....makes my life.

The yellow line

I stood behind a lot of yellow lines between 11pm on 27th sep and 11am on 27th sep !!
Ya you read that right. 11pm to 11am on 27th sep.

It (standing behind the yellow line) begins at the Delhi airport at the AI counter. I lug my heavy suitcase from the trolley on to the weighing belt and cross my fingers. Please make that a direct check-in to Lexington I say a little nervously. The AI personnel reminds me to collect the baggage at Chicago and do a re-check in as he prints out the two boarding passes I think...sadhya my bag has passed the 20kg test and I see it as it happily jaunts along the moving conveyor belt.
Then I stand behind the yellow line waiting to meet the personnel from the American consulate to OK my intended visit. After that its the security check yellow line. And then the yellow line at the immigration counters at Chicago.
We meet a lot of yellow lines at other moments in life...
When the teacher begins to distribute the question papers
When the receptionist smiles and says 'Sir, he will meet you now'
When the blushing 22 year old is about to tell her parents about him
When the sambar for 10 guests is ready and it is time to add the salt and stir.
There is a heady rush of anticipation.
It is Make or Break time.
Will it turn out OK?
We square our shoulders, tuck in the tummy, take a deep breath and surge ahead.
Life is all about these Yellow lines and the Determined Steps we take to cross them.
So which yellow line waits for you today?

------------------------

Miracle in my kitchen

Are you a fan of Spicy Oil laden Brinjal curry?
Cut up brinjal into thin long pieces. Load it into the deep dish with oil, palya pudi (spices), salt, hint of jaggery and grated copra. Stir and cover with a glass lid. Turn flame to low. The brinjal cooks in its own juices. yummm
And I settle with a book. A non-shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. It is called Remember Me? Story of a girl who forgets 3 years of life. During which time she has changed her looks, become rich and famous!!! Imagine...waking up and forgetting how you got to be rich and famous! So in the process of helping her regain her lost memory I forget about the brinjal curry on the gas stove in my kitchen.

There is a loud cracker burst. You remember? ... this means something..
Oops the BrinJAL ... I run into the kitchen. I gingerly take off the glass lid...I expect to see charred remains of should-have-been-yummy-brinjal-curry. but hey! The gas in the cylinder is over! and the brinjal is saved.

 Sometimes such miracles happen with the tongue too.
Something makes you hopping mad. You begin to say something harsh. Suddenly you stop. Your goodness takes charge. The gas is turned off. The tongue stops lashing. This is not a weak moment. This is a moment of super strength. For you have saved a heart. The heart is not charred.
A lashing tongue is for the weak.... For the strong, the silence says it all.

or so we hope...
-----------------
Our Boxer - Ugly Pugli

Open windows and open minds

If you meet someone
If a question is asked
If a book comes into your hand
If you happen to read a forward
There is a purpose in it.

What's the point of talking to person, reading a book, listening to a TED talk if all the while I am thinking
You don't look too smart
I know this.
I've heard that before.
The same thing happened to me.
Waste of time.

na?
huh?
Let me open that window. The breeze however slight - refreshes!

----------------------

Its crooked but it's neat?

An ashtotra is a list of 108 names for the chosen Lord. I am chanting the Vinayaka ashtotra. 

I see that the sages have lovingly inserted names like

The Single tusked one

The one with a pot belly

One with pointed ears

One who rides on a mouse

It's like saying. I know you are at times silly, and at times quite strange.

Well, I have my quirks too. I like you with all your quirks.

So help me Lord ...

To like me with all my quirks. 

To like people with all their quirks.

-----------------------

tedha hai par mera hai ... eh?

Sweat that small stuff

A small sized bakery store - and a lesson in living
There is a small bakery in RR Nagar of Bangalore. He makes the most delicious palya-buns.

It is evening. There is a slight drizzle. The weather is just right for hot palya-buns and tea. What do you say? My sister and I nod together in total agreement and step over shallow puddles to the bakery.
Two palya buns, we say.
A speeding car screeches to a halt right behind us. A perfumed young lady, with a swaying handbag rushes to the bakery ... 7 palya buns and 200g benne-biscuit she says ... tapping on the glass counter impatiently.
She is in a hurry.
We are annoyed. But we don't mind waiting. This is a big order for the bakery.
The man picks up a paper bag.
Bega...Quickly ... the lady drums on the glass counter ... 7 palya buns and 200g benne-biscuit she repeats.
The man gently places two palya buns into the paper bag. Seals it with scotch-tape. And hands it over to us.
The lady is seeing red. Are you mad? She asks. Pack my order first.
We give him a hundred rupee note. The man ignores her completely. And counts out our change.
The lady swirls and walks away in disgust.
When he hands the change we tell him, the lady walked away in a huff. you lost a big order. We would have waited. We are in no hurry.

The man says: This is my bakery. You come first. I serve you first. I lose an order. No worry. I lose my dharma... I worry!
Madam, he explains. Your order for 2 buns is as important for you as her order of 7 buns is for her. For me all customers are important. She came after you. She must wait her turn.
Wah! What amazing business ethics.
And what amazing spirituality in business.


---------------------------
I suppose it is this accuracy to doing things the right-way, that makes his bakery products so tasty too.

Thanks to that loud bang ...

Yesterday
I was browsing through old photos and was lost in a train of sad thoughts when all of a sudden
the doors of the house upstairs banged shut
jerking me out of my thoughts

I got up with a purposeful jump, and set about house chores ...
and since I am not on any action that requires concentration ... my mind is jogging along at its own pace.
There is a huge gust of wind and the curtains knock down some cups ... harmlessly ... but what a clatter! And I ask myself ... hey when did that thought creep in? yes, the clatter plummets me into better action.

And so I am surfing the TV
..."thum kya dikhaoge? yeh? kwiku kwiku kwiku" goes my favourite Yatra ad
I pause to watch and slowly my mind drifts away
till a quarrelsome squirrel scolds me ...Kweeukweeukweeu... at my window
jerking me back from my mind's meander

The Universe conspires to keep me happy
The Universe conspires to jerk me away from negative thoughts

So friends when
a door bangs shut, a car honks, you drop something, an animal scurries past or the cell phone beeps
don't scowl!
Pay attention to the conversation in your head. The Universe is warning you like your digital navigator ... "You missed the turn. Steer to the right and take a U-turn"
aaah...back on track!

-------------------------

Ten things to do before sunset

Though we are constantly aware of Death, a visit from HIM is always a surprise. The loss of a loved one is unbearable and the turmoil in the thoughts of close family and friends can only be endured not explained.
But, life must go on. And an important part of life are the assets of the loved one who has moved on.
It is a huge blessing when the finances are in order and the assets easily managed.

I have seen a lot of wonderful families fall apart in pathetic disharmony just because death came before the person was ready for it.
Sometimes the families are in complete harmony but the legalities take a heavy toll of time and effort.

imagine this
sons in their 50s struggle with legalities as there is no will
wife cannot access the laptop as she does not know the password
husband has no clue there is a bank locker with gold jewellery in it
children do not know the account number of their single parent's bank accounts
dad's closest friend is not informed as no one knows his name

So here are ten things you need to do before sunset

1. If you have immovable property, make a will. Register it with a tax consultant or a legal representative. If advisable, discuss it with your children. Preferably leave property to your spouse. Tell the family you have written a will and who it is with.  Redo the will every time you buy or sell immovable property.
2. Ensure that bank accounts and fixed deposits are in the joint name with your spouse.
3. If bank accounts or term deposits are in a single name, ensure that you have assigned a nominee for every single bank account and term deposit separately. Keep a hard copy of every term deposit you have made.
4. If you have mutual funds/investments ensure that you name a nominee for every bond.
5. If you have a bank locker, fill in the nominee form for the same. You can have multiple nominees for the locker. Inform your spouse or child about the locker.  Keep the key in a place that your spouse knows about.
6. If you have a loan, insure your life to the amount so that the spouse and family are protected in case of need. Assign the premium payments to ECS facility at your bank so that the account is healthy and valid. Be sure to spell the nominee name as it is in their bank accounts.
7. If you believe in eye donation etc, keep posters or badges at home that say so.
8. If you have medical insurance keep it paid up and updated. Keep the card at a place that is easily accessible in time of need.
9. Mail the following to yourself and your spouse (or any other reliable friend or relative)
• scans of passport, pan card, driver's license,  IDs
• important phone numbers and email IDs
• contact details of most trusted friends
10. Make a bucket list. Give ten minutes of exclusive attention to your loved ones. Laugh.

Take care of your loved ones, so they remain loved long after you. 

What you do

No matter how hard you think
You are ... what you do
I am an organised person. I pride myself about being a supermom, going about my career, my family and my neighbourhood activities with aplomb.
until one day
I go shopping with a lady. While in the shop my cell phone begins to ring. I dig my hand into 'its place' in my hand-bag. But it's NOT there...
The cell phone's ring...rinnng....rinnnggg......gets louder
I dig into another part of the bag
and another
and another
meanwhile everyone is looking at me. and the phone just continues to pierce the silence.
and finally
i find the cell phone. its hidden below the coin pouch and the credit card holder.
the call is from a mobile service provider...asking me if i want to change to his service
duh...why would i want to??
anyway
after a few minutes of silence. my friend looks at me and says
ratna, please dont mind. but you should be more organised. keep the cell phone in a specific place. so you dont have to search for it.

i go red. i get terribly angry.
then i calm down.
I may think a thousand generous thoughts, I may like being organised, I may adore and value relationships
but what others see are not my thoughts. they see me by what I DO.
Their perception of me, is so different from, my perception of me!!


A person is known by what he DOES not by what he THINKS.
read about some amazing people of action here at Good News India

Choosing the Best

We take our grandson to Chuck-e-cheese in Lexington. We have won some coupons and he gets to choose a gift. There are tiger masks, attractive building blocks, puzzles,  large beads and what not. Our little boy places a finger at a 3 inch plastic blue car. I want that he says. We try to distract him with other 'BETTER' things. But he is determined. So we save most of the coupons and get him his plastic blue car.

We visit the super bazaar in Gurgaon. I am looking for rice. Plain rice to go with sambar and saaru. The helpful assistant tries to tempt me with umpteen options of Basmati rice. This has very good aroma, this one cooks in 12 minutes, this is special long grain ....   Arre baba, please! I dont wan't Basmati. I just want plain rice. But ma'am, he looks at me, pained, We offer the best. This is BEST rice.

The best?
Doesn't that depend on what I want.
The BEST varies with every person and every need.
Before we join the bandwagon let's get in tune with what is BEST for us ... in the given situation.
and go with that choice. Then there are no regrets.

If you pay peanuts ...

... you get monkeys.
Monkeys are quite cute actually.

monkey comes for peanuts

We actually did just that at Janapada Loka bangalore. we held peanuts and they obliged... so sweetly.

This proverb is all about pay and employee calibre. You cannot expect a worthy man for a lower hand out.
But I like to take the proverb out of its limitation.

We make the choice.
We are answerable only to ourselves.
What is right for you? That is the important question.

curious monkey at janapada loka

If the shoe fits, wear it

Cinderella did! And look what it brought her.

The guy who protests the loudest is the one who is guilty.
Arguments spiral out of context because one of the two is not willing to wear the shoe even if it fits.

If the description is true, if the accusation is valid, if the compliment is justified ...
accept it with grace.
if the shoe fits, wear it.

a shoe that fits

Make a to do list

About a note pad and a pen



The soothing aroma of roasted rava cooking with green chillies, ginger and fried onions wafted into the air as the lid came off the frying pan. I tenderly spread grated coconut and stirred it to perfection… like Sanjeev Kapoor (I like to imagine)

Not AGAAAINNN …. The twin alaap of my daughters broke into the faultless TV moment. You always make upittu. Every DAY we have upittu.

Hey! I say and march them to this list stuck behind the door ... 



organising the kitchen

Look! I make rava only on Wednesdays… and last Wednesday you had rava halwa with hirekai-bondas…so don’t you…

Whaaat? You made a list for this too? They look at me like I have developed two antennas or sprouted purple hair. But yes. I adore making lists…

Why I like making lists:

Advantages:

• It brings tasks into immediate focus making me aware of what I can do with the day.
• I can prioritize them
• I can assemble things required to complete a task ….. And if I need to make one more list for that, yippee!
• There is a satisfying finality in striking off Job-Done from the list … burp!
• When plans are only in the head I fail to see the shortcomings (in time allocation, material, skill, information) and the flaws crop up at inopportune moments leading to stress and discomfort. Andrey only if you have planned baby-corn pakodas will you buy the baby-corn…. else you make do with bread.
• I can consult others if their cooperation is required … I am coming at 6, are you free?
• When a list is made I cannot cheat. I can see what remains pending.

 Disadvantages:

• Come to think of it…the last Advantage is actually more of a Disadvantage!
• I can see that nowadays it takes me longer and longer to fill the Things-To-Do note pad! I am pathetically under-worked.
• On a more serious note, making lists requires concentrated planning. It demands my complete attention.
• It gobbles precious minutes from an over loaded schedule (Well. It used to when I was working and my kids and mom were at home)
• One can get quite ambitious and put a lot more into the list than can be done in a day. That can get pretty stressful…!!



Making a list

To tell you the truth, I am a big fan of making lists. shopping list, to-do list, where's what list, wish list, topic list .... and list of what to list!!

Are you a list-fan too?

 ---------------------

Decisions and Outcomes

The outcomes of all decisions are 
O-S-O

in retrospect

A hundred ants eagerly make their way up a fat tree trunk. Juicy flowers and red berries are at the top branches. Itni and Mitni  move along in single file following everyone else before them. And suddenly it is a moment of decision!


Two stiff branches fork out. Which branch to take? Itni chooses this one and Mitni chooses the other. Ten minutes later ... Itni is munching a juicy treat. Mitni is floundering, running at full speed, but going nowhere. 

branches of the tree where Itni and Mitni part ways

We make a decision and move in a direction. Many things make us choose a particular course of action. It is difficult to pin down the exact reason. 
What prompts selection of action?  

• Tradition? ... this is the way it is always done
• Instinct? ... my sixth sense says
• Experience? ... Bittu's mamaji did it this way
• Bravado? ... nothing ventured nothing gained
• Random option? ... OK this one

On hindsight both success and failure look so logical. 
We look at outcomes and say, How could he be so foolish. or we say ... See that is why he succeeded
I mean didn't Mitni see the pollen grains on the branch? He should have smelt the fruit! … He should have just followed Itni !!

juicy treats at top branches

All outcomes are O-S-O …. Oh-So-Obvious in hindsight.
But decision making belongs to that moment. 
We select a branch and move on. 
And yes, everybody around us is moving as well. 
So the scenario is changing even moments after the decision has been made. We pick an outcome in the life of a country, a company, a family, a national hero or an individual. 
We shake our heads and frown with wisdom and say…how could he!!! 
We pick an act the we ourselves have made and sigh with regret and say, how could I?


When we are evaluating the outcomes of decisions let us be gentle...
towards ourselves and towards others
All outcomes are O-S-O - Oh so obvious -  in hindsight. 

-----------------
Mitni slid off the wet leaf and landed on a squashed berry... mmm yummy!! And that too was O-S-O ...Oh so Obvious ... the squashed berry was right below that wet leaf.