Acceptance, with eyes wide open

What we see ........ depends on what we are looking for....!!
I traveled to Mysore over this weekend. I took the Shatabdi. Sitting by the window I sighed at heaps of garbage lined beside the railway tracks. I squirmed at the shambles of houses that dotted what had been farms and open land. I pondered over the diminishing water bodies. The train is running late. And my stomach is rumbling so! Did you notice, a train that is late, waits at every crossing...giving way to the train that is on time. And thus the train becomes more and more late! There a big lesson to be learnt here... Don't be late, and if you are late, don't be a Shatabdi.

My cousin P and I have a quick lunch of hot rotis, awesome aalu palya and lemon rice (no adjectives here!!). Manu the auto driver arrives promptly at 4 and we are on our way to Chamundi Betta.

gopuram of temple on chamundi betta

'Do you think you want to stand in a line to enter the temple?'
'Er! what! We don't go in??!!'
Thankfully there is no line at all. We have a nice darshan and wander into the courtyard around the temple.
We hold back. We observe other devotees.  A young man dips his head into the sacred stone at the back of the temple. A purohit sits crosslegged by a brass pot offering thirtha. A grandfather cups his hands in reverence. He takes a sip and scatters the rest on his bald pate. A young girl skips to her grandfather. A lady hurries by tucking a yellow shavantige into her hair. The heady fragrance peculiar to temples is everywhere. Everything is so beautiful. The raw stone floor, the pillars, the wooden beams, the intricate statues that make the gopuram,  the experience of being together and silent in this place...

thirtha and kunkuma prasada

Two days fly by. And I am again in a train on my way back. A gentleman sitting beside me looks out of the window and says ...Oh! this stretch between Bangalore and Mysore is the best.  What wonderful scenery! and this time I see.... green carpets in rice fields, purple flowers of sugarcane, glistening blue pools of water, white egrets with long necks, and stuffed scarecrows doing their job ...

I realize, when I am watching out of the window the first time I am an opinionated city woman. In the temple I am a relaxed tourist seeing everything with open eyes of acceptance. On my way back, the gentleman's words nudge me towards looking at the same scenery in acceptance. And that makes all the difference.

Perhaps that is why travelling opens up the mind? A new kind of acceptance is awakened. And we are able to look at our own lives too in different light.
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In the blink of an eye

Yesterday at half past six in the evening we decided to watch LunchBox in the theatre. Bookmyshow ensured that we had reservations for the 7.55 pm show at Rex.

And then it was a flurry of activity
Take Max down for a quick pee
Can I come in this only? Jeans is OK change the shirt ...
Feed Max no... give him pedigree
Did you leave him some water?
Who has the house keys?
Close the room doors... I don't want him sleeping on my bed
Should we leave the TV on... Max will feel better
(notice that it's mostly about our boxer pup Max!!)

We finally started the car at 7.20
We took the Domlur flyover curved into an immediate left, cruised down to MG road and braved through the heavy traffic on Brigade road to reach Rex theater in 15 minutes! We had time for a pastry at adjacent Nilgiris. Good old Nilgiris! So nicely they have built the flyover. Just so convenient, we gushed!

When the area was all grime and dust and narrow muddy deviations we were happily away... driving down the wide freeways of Delhi. I am sure there must be many who think, at last the flyover is ready, and sigh relief.

Hey! When did this happen? We say, a little perturbed, or a little angry! Or as it happened elated at the convenience.
It is as if it all happens in the blink of an eye. Suddenly it's different. Suddenly things are not the same.

kids grow up
relationships change
technology moves ahead
new business methods arrive
competition thrives

But that's not true
Na-a-
Nothing happens suddenly. We just did not pay attention. Or we chose to ignore because other more important things consumed our attention.

And when suddenly something nudges us awake, we look around like Rip Van Winkle and say  "Surely, I have not slept here all night."

Yet
When he did wake up, Rip Van Winkle, gleefully exclaimed, I have slept for 20 years! It takes courage to say that too.

What we say

Picture this: Boss pulls on a stern face. Calls his staff. Tells them they slack work and spend too much time at the coffee place. He has doubled the targets, advanced the deadline, threatened to restructure. He ends with Got it. This Got it says help me guys, If I don't perform I may be forced to quit.

Picture this. The TV is on. The family is gathered in chairs and sofas. A favourite soap or a nice movie is the guest of honour. There's popcorn and pepsi and fries. And then a stunning one-liner, a sudden twist in the story, an amazing pun pops up. And you turn to a person in the gathering and ask -Got it? ... This Got it says 'Nice na' I am happy to share this moment with you.

Picture this: Mom is leaving for veggie shopping. She tells her ten year old. By the time I come back your room must be neat. Put everything back into place properly. Got it? ... This Got it says guests are coming tomorrow. If you don't do it I will have to!

Picture this: Teenager is leaving for a party. Mom says Come back before nine. Get someone to drop you home. Got it? ... This Got it says don't do drugs. don't be stupid. I will begin to breathe after you return.

Picture this: Batsman lofts the ball. The guy in first slip has his hand to it, almost, but it pops out. Fielder runs in from mid wicket and grabs it in time. Got it? ... This is the dream come true Got it we all want. Someone to pick up, straighten, pull the foot out of the mouth, apply balm, sort out... the mess we leave as we hurry through the day.

Picture this: He says ... the exploration for an immaculate marketing strategy lies essentially in the pursuance of the accessible and the evident. She says Got it. This Got it says aah, now I understand... or it says forget it dude, I will never figure that out.

Now tell me ... did you read the whole thing or did you read the first three lines and say ... uh uh Got it! This got it says ya ya ... sakamma ... ab bas bhi karo ... enough already!

We are at a happy place if only we get the 'Got ITs'

That's the difference between I know and ...... Do I know?

-----------------------

What makes you weird?

If the tea is not hot enough, if the old newspaper is not kept away, if the dhobi is not on time, if the baby wails loudly ... Venkatachala gets furious.
At 70 Maya colours her hair jet black, wears danglings on her ears, and pearls round her neck.
Pratham calls every sibling and every cousin and their kids every month gives long pauses and asks repeatedly yen samachara ... what news?
Gautam has 5 dogs
Priti is super-thin, rides a bicycle to office, runs half marathon, and eats salads for lunch
Madhura has an itchy throat which she clears loudly every so often
Guna leaves wet towels on the chair and coffee mugs on the desks
Shama wears six rings on 4 fingers and advises people to be confident and brave

That's weird. yes. Not conceited, not cruel not obstinate...
just plain weird.

What makes you weird?
thank you Seth Godin
-------------------------
Today I Salute
This pilot who saved 180 lives with his presence of mind. But the Times of India did not give us his name or publish this wonderful man's photo. Weird?
While on the way down this pilot spotted a plane on the runway! He was alert enough to climb up again and prevent a major head-on. Those 180 passengers and their family are thanking their stars and hopefully thanking this amazing pilot too.

A handful of seeds

Today, I like to share a story that my daughter's boss told her. The story applies just as nicely to a family as it does to an office place and work colleagues.
well....I embellish the story in my own way !!
God hands over a handful of seeds to 3 different farmers and tells them to plant the seeds and allow them to flourish and multiply.
God visits them after 6 months.
Farmer 1 looks at God anxiously. I have been really good to the seeds you gave me God. I made a special place for them in my watermelon farm. I give them exactly the same care as I give my watermelons. But look at the plants now. Small leaves, thin stalks, pale colour....You tricked me. These seeds are no good.
Farmer 2 has nothing much to say. I tossed them into the soil. The plants must be growing well. Hey God, Isn't that what they are supposed to do? he challenges.
Farmer 3 is happy the flowers are coming out well. God, he says I am a little concerned about the pumpkins. But am really proud of my peas, and petunias.

Farmer1 wonders why his 'watermelon' plants are under achieving. Farmer2 sometimes wonders why some flourish but some wither and dry. Farmer3 has a garden with vines, creepers, delicate flowers and hardy vegetable plants.

We get a handful of seeds... also called family, friends, fellow workers and fraternity.
It's to our benefit if we remember ... They are not all watermelon.

swaying in the breeze

--------------------

The buck stops here

where?
here?
no....no way!
there may be?
na a no way

This proverb in kannada provides startling imagery. And describes a very common Indian quirk ..........
Tanna elle li katte sat bididru, pakkada elle inda nona vodasd-haage
ತನ್ನ  ಎಲ್ಲೆಲಿ ಕತ್ತೆ  ಸತ್ ಬಿದ್ದಿದರು , ಪಕ್ಕದ  ಎಲೆ  ಇಂದ  ನೊಣ  ವೊಡಸದ  ಹಾಗೆ 

He swats a fly hovering over his neighbour's plate while a donkey lies dead on his.   !!

Defining, refining, profiling the tasks of people around is just soooo much more interesting...than completing the task on hand...!!

50 years ago, the roles were well defined. housewife, cook, preacher, tailor, barber, tahsildar, clerk, each had a specific job description. and one had to merely complete that task neatly to feel efficient and proud. They knew exactly which buck stopped where.

The lines are not so well defined anymore. everyone does everything. While that brings in equality. It also brings in arguments about exactly which buck stops where.
so
the dust on the table
the rent we forgot to pay
the birthday card that was not posted
the incorrectly worded mail

becomes at the same time a mistake that belongs to all and no one owns.
......
aaah the landline is ringing..........someone get it .... hey! ..... are you picking it? ....

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Hop over at Chicago

What must you do... if you have to catch a connecting flight.... at Chicago... and you are traveling alone?

• keep enough time between flights so that you can walk to the departure gate at a comfortable pace
• keep some cash on hand or carry a credit card so you can pay for a flight if you need to
• keep your carry-on bag very light 
• wear comfortable shoes
• keep a charged cell phone so you are in touch with family
• if you need to rebook, try getting on a flight by the SAME airlines

And I did none of these!!!

I was flying from San Fransisco to Louisville with a hop-over at Chicago. 

I landed in Chicago O'Hare ORD airport at 3pm at Terminal 2 and I had to board my flight to Louisville at 3:55. The lady at the counter says, hurry, go to terminal1 gate B22. I have this humongous black bag. It is heavy and has no wheels. 

Wah!

I scramble like mad for a good 15 minutes to B22. Oops I need to trace back to the restroom 

and huff back again......
crackle crackle ..... Passengers please note flight blah blah to Louisville is delayed. It will leave at 6pm. I need to warn my daughter who is waiting at Louisville airport, with two small kids in tow... and I have no cell phone.

errr lady, may I borrow your cell phone? Hello chinnu... My flight is delayed by 2 hours!

half hour later they tell us ...YOUR  flight captain has not reported to duty. The flight is CANCELLED! Crackle ... Please get to customer service. We regret the inconvenience....Ya right...

errr lady ... may I borrow your cell phone? hello chinnu

So I trudge to the customer desk. They offer me tickets on a 7pm flight to Lexington on American Eagle.. Yippee

errr lady ... may I borrow your cell phone? hey chinnu

So, I plod with the now double humongous bag ...  to G14 at terminal 3. It takes me a solid 22 minutes. It is now 6pm. American Eagle refuses to let me board the flight. They have no intimation or money transfer from United she tells me. Go back to the customer service at terminal 1.

My bag seems to now weigh a hundred kilos, my shoes a fifty, and my knees are jelly. But I need to reach before this flight takes off.... or I may not get a replacement ticket... I manage to reach customer service in B8.
Hi how r u today... Sorry about that. We have a last seat in the United 9pm flight. U r lucky!
ya right! 

errr lady ... may I borrow your cell phone? Aa.a... chinnu

This flight leaves from the other end of terminal 2. I am past thinking. and way beyond fatigue point. I drag my bag, my feet and my soul to F14. I plonk into a seat. And burst into silent wet tears.

This flight did take off. and I was in it.

So If you are travelling alone, and if you have a hop-over flight, do follow the pointers at the beginning of this blog post 

or else  !!

-----------------------

Doing the dirty dishes

As a young kid going to school I was told to decide what I wanted to be:

a) The kind that washed dishes..... or

b) The kind that sat back with a cup of curd

for those who know kannada ... musare thikkteeyo? mosaru thinnteeyo?

So when it was exam time I was petrified of getting low marks and falling into category (a). All endeavour was towards the cup of curd.

Childhood fears carry with us to adulthood and shape our lives for us. So I avoided like plague the risk of falling into category (a) and chose to fill my life with activities, strongly denying that washing dishes had anything to do with my life. And of course there was always a maid who came in twice a day to promptly do the dishes. 

Now I am in the developed country of USA. 

gaadi hai (big cars)

bangla hai (big house)

branded clothes

cut veggies

loaded fridge

heavenly baked stuff

strong internet

on demand movies

and last but not the least

You get flowing hot water ... to do your dishes. 

But hey, I am not type (a) .... remember?

that is the fun of a developed country. You fall into both categories. (a) and (b). 

And suddenly I realize there are really no categories..... just people.... and tasks to be done.

And the wife in the house-hunters episode matter-of-factly says - doing the dishes is his job (pointing to her husband)

back in India ... we wouldnt have said it ... even if ...someone did find a husband 'who does the dishes'.

but hey ... I still do not like doing the dishes.

-----------------------------

A Picture on the Wall

There are a series of serious lectures by Virginia Woolf under the title A room of One's own wherein she says that that there are not more women writers for to write one needs a room and money..........
to my understanding ... Implying that women have less independence and more duties, to devote much time to creative writing.

A Room of her own by Chris Cassen Madden, is one of the books I have taken.  from the Lexington library. It has pictures of stuff I could drool over. Lovely arty collections, murals on walls, pottery. She says that every woman must claim a room or a space in a house as her own. She must decorate it with things she likes. That would give her peace, confidence and a perception of self-worth.

A large side table with an assortment of odd shaped urns and pebbles collected from river beds.
This here is a room corner boasting of cane stuff -2 chairs, a basket, a box, 4 containers, wall pieces, and a partition, all made of cane.
This over stuffed room has pictures, letters, cards, nest with eggs, horse-shoes, antique boxes, painted stones, a miniature chair and a sedate buddha!
This dainty pouch perches on the table tied with a string of beads .... oooh

I like the thought that a woman can claim a part of the house as her own. This thought is new to me.
Women in India are taught to be self-effacing.
Be strong within. Your beauty is within you.
You do not need material presence around you to make you happy or peaceful.
The entire house is yours. Why do you need a space for yourself?
This is what we grew up to believe.
In most Indian homes, the only space that one can really claim is a picture on the wall. Now nobody would bother to remove that picture!
Come to think of it... Perhaps the Indian woman claims the kitchen as her space. This is her claim to individuality and creation. And that is the cause of the perennial Saas-Bahu skirmish?

I am beginning to imagine. A space of my own.... to decorate and keep ... as goofy as I want it to be!


--------------------------------

A Library to learn from

My daughter dropped me at the local Eagle creek library, gave me her library card, and said enjoy. You can take up to 10 books at a time! Use the card and put them into my account. I will pick you again in 60 minutes. Kids will be in the car, I cannot leave them, so be ready in exactly 60 minutes from now.

Fine. I said. and walked into the heady aroma of books.

What an amazing place. The entrance is lined with colourful posters. Story-Reading, talk sessions, author visits, all planned library events.
There are rows and rows of audio and video CDs. Some can be taken for 3 days with no extra charge and some for 7. I choose carefully from the 7day section.
There are 15 laptops connected to internet that I can use. I do not use them.
Then there are BOOKs. A row of books with large print.  I think of my father, my uncle, my MIL. Book lovers who had/have to squint at small print books.
Mushy romance, wise self helps, colourful coffee tables' ... you name it. My arms wrap around the 6 books I have selected.

I walk smartly to the lady behind the counter, and we exchange some hi-how are you todays- and then she tells me blankly, use the check out counter over there.
Oops. clumsy me.
Now how the h--- do I use this thing?
A young help arrives, Florence Nightingale of the library, and guides me through the process. Its quite user friendly, swipe the library card
wait, let me fish it out of my purse
(patient silence)
That's good.... type in the password,
er ... I don't know the password
She suppresses a sigh
no problem, I can help you with that. Tell me some details about the card holder, (so we know you haven't stolen the card from her!)
OK, now we have the password, just swipe the card again, type the password...
Now scan the barcode pasted on the book.
No not that one, that is the price of the book printed by the publisher.
Duh
You've got to scan this one pasted on top of the book by the library...
Do that again for this book (...)
Would you like a printed receipt?
(I really dont know) well, OK. Yes please.
The receipt comes out here, on the side.
There you go. Press finish please.
ta-da you are ready to go.
I am thrilled at my success. And my Florence Nightingale throws a sweet smile and goes off (i think to have a reviving cup of coffee, au-latte)
The list of books you have taken comes to your email. and you get a reminder when limited time CD is due.
That Library is amazing
but
I want to use that self check out counter again.
ta da.


------------------------

An unknown island

Little water bodies are so well preserved here in this city of Lexington.
We drove to Keenland and neighbouring towns and I thoroughly enjoyed getting passing glimpses of crimson trees and vibrant islands.
My trip to an art and craft store helped me pick some art material.
I used watercolours to create this Autumn scene.

autumn colours

I have exaggerated the colours in the reflection. But to me, autumn is all about colour.

---------------------------------

Fall colours in Kentucky

The small aircraft that brought me into Lexington from Chicago was barely full. The happy hostess sing songed Hi. How are you today? What can I serve you? and I chose coffee with sugar and cream please.
The captain soon interrupted with news that we were preparing to land.
As the airplane swirled a large loop in the sky and swooped down neatly into the runway I gasped.
What a vibrant carpet nature was planning to weave here.
The land was beginning to transform into a riot of oranges and reds and crimsons and yellows.

This is a season when suddenly OLD is good! The aging leaf is an enticing yellow or red or orange while the younger leaf is just boring green!

This is what every man wants
right?
To age gracefully........and to hoard moments of glory when the end nears.

---------------------

A Big Belly

A big belly full of laughter and kindness.
Vinayaka Chaturthi
We the kannada smarthas believe that Gowri - Ishwara's spouse and Ganesha's mom - has come away to visit her parents. Ishwara unable to bear the separation sends Ganesha to fetch her back.
A wonderful tale of romance.
Every Kannada smartha home celebrates the arrival of Gowri at home.
This festival is specially dear to women. They pray for the happiness of their husband.
So yesterday was Gowri Habba. And today, on the fourth day of the bhadrapada masa, Ganesha arrives to take his mom home.
Of course Ganesh the energetic, witty, smart young boy, is a family favourite. So today is Ganesha habba. Yummy fried food, sweets and a large spread is cooked, served to him with love and then eaten with relish.

Ganesha blesses all. He has only love for all. Not a strain of anger in him. Though yes, he did once frown at the moon. But then the moon was too full of his beauty and laughed at our cute elephant headed - pot bellied - mouse rider!

So on this happy occasion of Ganesha Habba, wish you all a wonderful year. A big belly with lots of laughter.
-----------------------

Satyanarayana Puja

Satyanarayana Puja is performed as thanksgiving and beginning of a new dream. A wedding, a house warming, a special birthday, son completes education, entrance to an MS course in the US ... are new beginnings and hence occasions for  Satyanaraya Puja. Very much a Kannada Smartha celebration too.

Preparations begin days in advance. The Lord gets a specially designated and adorned place. Silverware comes out in all its glittery finesse. A kalasha on a silver plate filled with rice, represents Lord Vishnu. Jasmines, roses, dahlias and the over-powering sampige flowers fill up baskets. Fruits and coconuts are in abundance. Cooks come in the previous night. and the enticing aroma of sweets and spices pervade.
A purohit helps the couple perform the rituals.  The couple are sweaty in their new silks ... (and the fans are off for the diya-flame will flicker).
Friends and family pour into the house. There is chatter and movement and an anticipation of a full spread in a banana-leaf meal.The purohit continues through all the din with determined concentration and the couple complete the rituals in serious attention. A vigilant grandma watches out for any omissions on the part of the purohit or the couple!
An important part of this fulfilling day is the special prasad. Sapaada Bhakshya contains 5 elements perhaps to represent the 5 elements for life on earth?
Recipe - Sapaada-Bhakshya
Sooji - fine rava - 2 cups
Sugar - 2 cups
Ghee - 1 cup
Milk - 2 cups
Banana ripe - 5
Optional - raisins, elaichi powder, kesari

• Cut banana to thin slices. Boil milk.
• Roast rava with 2 tablespoons ghee. Add raisins to rava while roasting.
• Pour in hot milk and cook over very low flame.
• Add sugar, banana and ghee. Cook over low flame turning constantly.
• Add flavours cover, take off flame and allow to cool. 
• Take small handfull and roll into lemon size ball. The prasad is served as small balls. 

I attend a Satyanarayana Puja in my friend's house in Delhi. What a contrast! 

During the puja there is only close family and a few of us close friends... maybe just 10 in all. We are invited to sit around the havan and offer prayers along with the family. The puja takes 20 minutes. The purohit ties threads of blessing on wrists of whoever is interested. This is followed by a simple lunch.

kachori, poori, sooji halwa, two vegetable side dishes and a salad

And that's it.

Somehow for me, this puja made more sense. There is less fanfare and more love and relaxation. What a contrast to the tension ridden affairs of Bangalore!

Puja and Party

Are we mistaking one for the other? 

---------------------------------

The rebellious youngster

It's the 70s
I am cutting a kilo of veggies for the evening meal in the kitchen.The family and visiting cousins are in the hall. I hear laughter and chatter. I do the shocker. I lug veggies, cutting board and all and plonk myself where all the action is.
She has brought kitchen work into the hall... they laugh.
It was so easy to be different.

But look at youngsters today who take all the trouble to get
pants that almost slip off the hip
hair streaked in different colours
eyebrows pierced
and body tattoos
so as to be different, and find to their horror that they are really mainstream! (and then they go and suffer getting all that tattoo removed!!!)

Is it getting more and more difficult to be a rebel?
Imagine the plight of the adolescents of tomorrow ... if being a rebel is mainstream...
They would have to do something different ... and not rebel...

and the moms and dads of tomorrow will wail ... why can't my son shout and bang doors and walk out in a huff ... like normal teenagers of our time??!!

-----------------------------

Sufficiently efficient

We move into this new location in Delhi in the hot summer month of June. We have 5 air-conditioners to be fitted. We are frantic and sweaty.
The AC guy comes with a black tool kit. He takes note of the ACs and counts off the 5 rooms into which they are to go. He peers into the ACs and shakes his head, like a worried headmaster. Service karna padega. They are dirty. they need service. OK do it. we say.

He takes the one window AC into the bathroom. Half and hour later we look for him. Where is he?
He is still with that one AC. Going into every curve and crevice with a fine toothbrush that he has attached to a thin wooden rod. The AC is shining. clean and happy. cleaner than it was even in the factory it came from!
we are impressed.

Two hours sail by. He is with the third AC. Why don't you fit in one AC? Let all ACs get service. Then all ACs get fixed. He says firmly, as if to an 'unreasonable demand of an impatient kid'. I don't want to mess with his feelings. he is doing a fantastic job. By 7 in the evening Our wallet come out. And notes get counted. Kaam ho gaya? Job done? we ask. ready to pay and send!

He ignores us. He walks up to the ACs with a clean cloth and wipes off marks that he has left while fixing it. In true spirit of the Japanese ACs he has come to fit. aaah! OK. done? we ask and open the wallet again.

He traces steps to the hall. He re-positions the stabilizer. snap! the wire link is off. So he connects  it again. and wipes it clean. Now are you done? the wallet is open again.

He almost has his hand out. But no. He remembers that he has left the bathrooms messy. He asks for a broom and cleans up the mess. Ooof! this is way too much efficiency. NOW are you done?

He marches off to the various rooms where he has left the ACs on. Come saab. See the ACs working. He says and diligently turns them all off again... keeping the remotes securely in place. Aaaaah! now he is overdoing it. OK GO! Thank you we tell him. and open the wallet

He stands erect for the first time. Looks up and says... What ever we do, we must do well. Kaam saaf hona chahiye. Our work must be clean and good.

I ponder over my feelings. I admire his commitment. But I am not willing to give him the time. If a job has to be done well, it demands that much time and attention.
How do we reach that optimum point of sufficiently efficient?

• economy of time 
• coupled with perfect completion.

--------------------------------------

------------------------------------

Ugadi, Bevu-bella

Ugadi - The Kannada new year

and The Kannada Brahmin way of celebration

There is an air of anticipation.
This is the night before...
Slender lines form a fabulous rangoli patterns on the floor just outside the main door.
Green mango leaves are strung into a thorana and now they adorn the entrance doorway swaying in the gentle breeze. A few sprigs of neem leaves are stuck at the two ends of the thoran.


On the day of Ugadi - The first day after new moon in March - Chaitra shuddha padya
Bevu-bella (neem flowers crushed with jaggery ) is made. After an early bath everyone gets a small bit of Bevu-bella. Signifying the inevitable presence of the good and the bad in our life.


Children are told, if the bevu-bella tastes bitter then the rest of the year will be joyous. We ask each other - what taste did you get bitter or sweet?
The taste of neem is so overpowering, the bitterness lingers and we are overjoyed. As now we know the rest of the year will be just fine. There is no greater joy than HOPE and the sweet taste of SUCCESS.
bevu-bella gives you both!


The ladies (ya, very rarely the men, though I know Nanjund mava often helped) get busy in the kitchen. Raw-mango rice, crisp heerekai bajjis and bele-vobbattu. That is the menu of the day.


Every year has a name. 2012 - 2013 is called Nandana. So this year at every festival we will be chanting Nandana nama samvatsare...
The panchanga or the almanac gives the annual forecast for the year and for the individual. There is even a description of how the year is personified. The elder reads the almanac and the family gathers to listen.
It is a lot of fun and is a ritual that is enjoyed!
You know, there is a part in the almanac that tell you the Earning and the Spending for the year ... on a count of 10!

Today is Ugadi

Wish you all a very happy year 

May your bevu-bella forecast happiness and success

Banana leaf meal

About a traditional Kannada Brahmin special meal

the Outhana

Outhana is pronounced with a flat th.

An Outhana is a special meal served as a send-off to guests who have stayed over a few nights. An outhana is made for a daughter-soninlaw, aunt-uncle, sister-BIL, or visiting parents

Preparation begins early in the morning as there is lots to cook! The meal will include -

• payasa (kheer made with milk and rice or milk and sevai )
• kosambari (dal-veggie salad) 2 types ... for making only one is a big no-no
• palya (spicy shallow fried veggies) 2 types
• gojju (yummy sweet sour) we wait eagerly to taste this
• kalasida anna (flavoured rice) 
• rice - sambar - saaru (white rice served with dal-veg) main course
• bajjis or bondas or ambode (all fried crisp treats) in a kannada home a vada is never made for special occasions. Vada is associated with sadder events.
• sweet (a burfi, mysorepak, holige, coconut-mitai, whatever )
• curd and rice

a good meal always begins with a spoon of payasa at the lower right hand corner of banana leaf / plate

We mix rice with sambar or saaru and scoop it up with our hands right into our mouth. We literally chase the rice round the plate and catch it by surprise!

All this food is served with lots of fun and love. There may have been stressful moments during the stay. But that is momentarily set aside. Guests are coaxed to eat more. It is quite usual to see guests spread their palms wide over their leaf saying No-NO and the host slips in a fried treat from a space on the side!

The meal is followed by a relaxed offer of elle hakkoli ... meaning well (eat leaf!) no not the banana leaf ... they are offered beetel leaf and areca nuts.

Some parting gift usually in the form of clothes has been surreptitiously bought! It is brought out on a tray with haldi-kumkum and fruits. The lady is asked to be seated. She is offered the gifts ceremoniously. This is a serious business.
The gift giving shows mutual respect and affection.
The guest makes appropriate noises....yaake thondre... why all this trouble?
You should not have brought all this
but of course she is pleased.
You see ... its not the gift that matters
it is the honour with which it was given. it is the thought that matters.

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most of the time when we are angry it a reaction to hurt ego. Our wise forefathers knew that. The ceremonial outhana soothed jagged nerves. Made everyone feel wanted .. egos got pacified.
think about it
next time someone is cynical or rude ... pamper their ego

Cinnamon in my coffee

What's the aroma?

My use of the flavour of cinnamon was limited to using it in Palyada-pudi ( Kannada Masala Powder), in Bisibelebath and in Vangibath. And that about summed up my use of Cinnamon.
This was in my before america days.... Now I am in the after phase!!
You get cinnamon flavour with almost every dish...Cinnamon has a sweetness to it. Yet it is a spice. So that kind of makes it Hot and Sweet! .......... mmmm yummy!
Don't camouflage its unique flavour with other spices. Use it as a Royal Single.
Plop some cinnamon powder into your morning oatsmeal, and some chunks of apple. .... heavenly!
We had waffles with dribbled honey and cinnamon sprinkle
And not to mention warm freshly baked  apple pie ..... cinnamon flavoured ofcourse!
And ooooo the irresistible walnut-cinnamon rolls 
or the cinnamon swirl raisin bread
And in Dunkin D instead of boring chocolate you must try  donuts coated with cinnamon-sugar.
Cinnamon with black coffee . Black coffee? I loved cinnamon with the milk-sugar - chocolate laced variety too.
And have you tried cinnamon with tea? You must!! What you do is: Drop a small stick into the water before it begins to boil. (add tea-milk-sugar...bring to boil.) Allow the brew to stand for 5 minutes before you pour in into cups to serve. Refreshing and healthful.

Back in Delhi
I tried it with sooji-halwa and it was good ...  (rava -kesaribath)
and with coconut burfi it was a success ... (kobri mithai)
Carrots or potatoes saute with butter, sprinkle cinnamon powder, mint and salt

spice rack

I now have a bottle of cinnamon occupying an important place in my spice rack.
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Daal Cheeni, aur dalchini
tho hus padega man and jinni
hehe! 

El Camino Real 2

We discover America

near a national highway

Did you look at this picture and say ... aaah! grandpa's house in Alur? Malur? Udupi? This is actually an ancient church in California.
There are many missions and pueblos on  El Camino Real. These missions are held in great reverence. They are the beginning of modern occupation of American Land in this area. A mission is basically a church that brought religion, modern life and community feel to the people in that area. These missions in particular also protected the land from other occupation.

San Luis Obispo - mission

We locate San Luis Obispo established in 1772. With difficulty we find a parking place... most streets here had  'limited parking access'. The place is serene and takes us back into history. We walk through the vine covered archway in obedient silence.

Soft strains of music fill the air. Some girls are practicing for a local Halloween event behind loosely shut doors

mission bells

The stone well, the large bells ,the flat raised seating area in the porch,  the grape laden archway ... for the Americans it must seem ancient ... and from the Olden Times. ... It just reminds us of India and Grandpa's home in the village.... (replace bells with a pulley and rope .. raatey-hagga)

Paintings of Indians - the original occupants are called Indians thanks to a mistake that Columbus made!! -give us a hint of the people who must have been enjoying the land before the missions arrived!

This country has great respect for history. And a pride in the past. And HISTORY is preserved and showcased with care.
I now wish I had kept, Anna's radio, his travel typewriter, Ajja's Shanbhog desk, Amma's Singer Sewing Machine, Tata's hand made radio ...
but we were in a hurry to move into the future
and wanted to escape from the past!

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Is there something you wished you had preserved?