Acceptance

 A Painting and a Story # 17

She clicks open her laptop and notes down the clarifications that Samarth dictates from a client's email.  Two clarifications. That's it! This being her first independent project Meenu (short for Meenakshi) is meticulous. She chooses her words in the response to the client carefully, checks for clarity, language appropriateness, ... She makes an internal call to Samarth. 'Only two clarifications alvaa?' She asks with a familiarity borne from years of association. 'Yes Meenamma' he replies and makes her smile.  Samarth's wife and her husband are high-school buddies. They are practically family! They often spend weekends together. It was Samarth who suggested that she apply here. 

Meenu clicks SEND.

Just before she can leave for lunch the CEO asks her to come to his room. Strange! Wonder why! .... He reprimands her gently, 'They had asked for 5 clarifications, you have only answered 2 queries. Ensure that your communications to our clients are complete. Send them an apology and the updated clarifications'. His voice is forgiving. But Meenu feels inefficient and irresponsible. Her eyes fill with tears and they threaten to  trickle down her cheeks. She looks down and hurries to her seat. Why had Samarth said there were only two? Meenu is left fuming and confused. Should she have told the CEO that Samarth has given her only so much information? Wouldn't that be childish? and perhaps jeopardise Samarth's career? The CEO wants solutions not excuses.  She waits for Samarth to return after lunch and tells him what the CEO told her. "Is it?" he asks nonchalantly. 'Let me check.' he clicks open his laptop.'Yes. They need 5 clarifications. Send them the update. Chill. It's ok' he says dismissively. 

Meenu cannot understand him. 'Is he deliberately trying to sabotage my career? That's crazy. Did he really forget? Is he careless? Does he want me to quit?' Hot tears flood in again. Her fear of losing a trusted friend is greater than her fear for her career prospects in the company. 

Her phone beeps. It's a message from her husband. he's working from home today. He has sent an image. An old photo from an album, of Kookie her pup! The picture brings on smiles and memories....of childhood...

Hoo Ffoo kaka spends his annual vacation with them. And those are days of fun. Days of ... road trips, water-parks, long drives and hotel lunches! He has just arrived. He promptly clears his suitcases, arranges his clothes in shelves, books on the table and footwear  neatly on the lower shelf of their shoe rack. After a quick breakfast they are off to a temple visit and lunch. Kookie gets a huggie and kissie and be a good boy! Kookie wags his tail. And they leave. They return hours later to catch Kookie sitting amongst 3 different shoes... all kaka's.... nibbling into one of them with undivided attention. 'You are a bad boy Kookie. You have been very mean' says a thoroughly annoyed Kaka. Meenu is heartbroken. 'Kookie loves you HooFfoo kaka. He is not mean. He is chewing a shoe. That is his nature.' Meenu rushes to Kookie's support.

Meenu returns to current reality, throws Kookie a kiss and shuts her phone. 'I guess this is Samarth's nature? Maybe he is not being mean? This is just him! I should be more careful in office, and not take things for granted? Meenu determines to not let this incident make her bitter. But she also knows that in future she will manage office work more professionally.

My painting for this week is a dancer. She dances with gleeful abandon, basking in the love and acceptance of her audience, yet in acute awareness of the limits of the stage and the beat of the tabla. When I believe that responsibility rests with me, and me alone, then I experience a sense of empowerment. I am not a victim anymore. I become acutely aware of my stage and the beat that is playing at this moment. I choose how I respond to that. And that's freedom and empowerment. 

My painting for this week - The Kathak Dancer - oil

Sundry thoughts on a Sunday

 A Painting and a Story # 16

The slides are in correct order. The video is playing well. The text on screen is visible. All fine. Final check........ and ..... publish! Meenu (short for Meenakshi) leans back into her chair. Her new self-driven project is a commitment. Meenu makes exquisite little objects with paper, clay, sticks and what-not! She uploads an instructional craft-video every weekend. 'Video sails into the world!' She sends her husband a text message with a string of happy emojis. 

She gives herself a stretch and hastens to the washed clothes spilling out of the cane chair. She sorts out the laundry, irons office wear, folds and sends them all into shelves. Meanwhile the pressure cooker is whistling for her.... demanding immediate attention. Cooking for the week is done. The dishes are in the sink... but oh then.. he does the dishes. Meenu loads a fistful of salted peanuts into a corelle cup. She sighs into the swing in the balcony and takes a sip of ginger tea. One day runs into the other. It's morning, it's night, it's morning, it's night... What's the point of all this. She wonders. Week days are one long blur. Weekends are no better. What with housework and hobby... weekends are a blur too! Meenu shakes her head as if to shake off her thoughts. She takes a nice long sip of tea.

A flurry of activity begins on the road below her house. The banana vendor hastily pulls a plastic sheet over the cart. An elderly couple with bags scoot off on their scooter. Two young girls stop and look up. It's started to drizzle. Inviting puddles are beginning to form in the pot holes on the road...!!

The gentle aroma of mid morning rain fills the air. Oh! The fragrance of wed mud. 'Petrichor - What a prosaic name for such blissful aroma... saundhi khushboo ... now that's romantic', thinks Meenu. The aroma takes her to vacations in her grandpa's house. She sees herself as that girl in pigtails.

It is 4 pm. With a bag of handy garden tools grandpa plants seedlings, clips old leaves, and prunes shrubs. Every evening he is with his plants. Meenu asks him why he peers into these small plants everyday. Nothing ever happens! But her Thatha points out to her a new leaf here and a budding node there! Meenu is busy with the watering can. She sprays water all over the place and breathes deeply.  Heady aroma wafts from the wet soil. Vacation week is over. Months later she is back in grandpa's house for her next vacation. The plants are tall.. almost up to her shoulders! She is surprised. Whoa. How did that happen!

Her Thatha had said, That's how life is. We do the same things again and again everyday. And suddenly it all adds up to something big! Meenu has taken the last sip of tea. She hums a tune and wanders into the house. Back to doing the little everyday things. 'Thatha it had better add up to something someday!' She says with a smile.

"I know you are tired but come this is the way" RUMI

My painting for this week - The tree of life.

Tree of Life

A Gift like No Other

 A Painting and a Story # 15

Meenu (short for Meenakshi) peers hopefully into her "Gift Collection Cupboard" to see if she can find something for her friend. She is going to a baby shower later this weekend. And she needs a gift. She wants to see Sindhu's face light up when she opens her gift. Her eyes become big, her dark pupils shine and her cheeks burst with joy. Meenu wants to see that. Meenu rummages through multiple options. Sequinned bags, a bunch of plastic flowers, a hand-carved wooden box, beads on a string, terracotta Ganesha.... "so many oh so beautiful things" that Meenu has picked up at various exhibitions on a whim. You know, how you go to these places with a 'Spending Will' and you end up buying things. Pretty things... But!!!

She hurries into the gift shop down the street. The helpful salesman hovers around offering suggestions and thrusting colourful knickknacks under her nose. Meenu is sympathetic. The guy is doing his job... enthusiastically... be calm. she tells herself. Naa... Nothing here will bring that spark. Meenu is desperate. Should she buy a dress? a stole? An earing? Calm down Meenu! She does some self talk. Imagine Sindhu's eyes lighting up. Imagine her face radiant with joy.... she tells herself.

Meenu does that. She closes her eyes and imagines a face lit up with joy. She is startled. She is now little Meenu! She sees her mother's face. It is radiant with satisfaction. It's like she has won the heaven itself! ..... Little Meenu is curious. What has Amma brought from her neighbour's house that is making her so ecstatic? Meenu peers into the plastic basket that Amma has left on the dining table. It has a few beetal leaves, 2 areca nuts, a fruit and a bag of boiled gram. Meenu digs into the boiled gram (irresistible snack) but she can't understand. What is so special about this? Why is her Amma so happy! 

Adult Meenu recalls the answer her mother had given her. 'The fresh beetal leaves, delicate jasmine flowers, jingle of glass bangles, ... to her all this signify a confirmation of a rich and fruitful life. "What more can one ask for... than a blessing of hope and life?" She had asked and walked away humming a happy tune. Meenu knows what she should do. She picks up a stole... just like that. 

And then it's the day of the baby shower!

Meenu arrives early. Sindhu has a nice baby bump. Dressed in a green saree she receives her at the door. Meenu watches Sindhu's face light up as she hands over to her a big bunch of richly fragrant rajnigandha - (tuberoses) - her best-loved flowers. And yes, Sindhu's eyes become big, her dark pupils shine and her cheeks burst with joy! ....The stole?... ya that too! 

A baby's smile, your puppy's eyes, swaying green grass, a mother's lap, a lover's hug, a hot cup of tea, a spouse watching a film with you because you want to watch it, a job well done ... these bring joy that stay with us in our mind. Yes, the big car, the exquisite silk dress, the award, bring moments of happiness. But what we essentially remember is the emotion attached to sharing the experience with others. We want to feel valued. A cup of tea can say 'I VALUE YOU' as efficiently as a diamond necklace? If you can't make that cup of tea... then you need to buy that diamond!

My painting for this week is an offer of life and hope. 

Tamboolam - Water colour.

The Wedding

 A Painting and a Story # 14

Shama lowers herself into a chair, fills it, and digs into her bag of potato chips. Meenu (short for Meenakshi) is winding up for the day and logging off her system. "I am not joining the team for lunch on Sunday, 'have a wedding to attend" she says. Shama exclaims, 'I'm skipping it too. My cousin Namita is getting married.'

'Namita? I am also going to Namita's wedding!'

'What? No way!'

'Ya. We grew up in the same apartment complex in Pune'

'Don't tell me!!.... I visited them in Pune. Don't recall chatting with you! Anyway there was this bakery down the road. And we used to love eating there'.

'Bakery? I don't recall a bakery. But there was a juice centre. That I know'.

'Just like you Meenu! To not know a bakery! You were dieting then too???'

'I'm not dieting. Just high metabolism. I can not imagine Namita marrying a photographer. She seemed the academic type!'

'Photographer? No yar. Prashant is a software engineer. Photography is just his hobby.'

'Not Prashant. Pradeep. Namita is marrying Pradeep. You got your cousin's husband name wrong!'

'Don't be silly. I've spoken to Prashant. He's in Chicago and I've even shared my trip experiences with him.'

'Wait. Chicago? Pradeep lives here in Bangalore'. 

This crazy conversation sends them into peels of laughter. They are speaking of 2 entirely different Namitas. It is a good thing they got that sorted before they got into a cab on Sunday to go to their event together! 

Instantly Meenu is transported to a conversation with Hoo-Ffu kaka a long time ago! .... He is describing with great vigour his days in Srinagar. Meenu imagines him walking into snow clad mountains, feeling the chill in the air, and having hot kawa..... Only to realise that he is describing his bachelor days in a locality called Srinagar in Bangalore!

How often we make assumptions. We imagine a slight where there is none. We interpret a comment in the wrong way. We agonise over what we have said, wondering if the other person was hurt. Sometimes we think we are being totally clear, because we understand it well, but it may not be so for the listener! It happens quite often for us teachers. We think our explanation is crystal clear. We have been doing this for the ... say 4th year... now. And suddenly a student comes up with an interpretation or doubt we never thought could occur!

Communications are mostly incomplete. What YOU SAY may be entirely different from what I HEAR. It all depends on perspective. We have to be aware of the fact that perspectives vary. And this awareness makes relationships easier. So long as we are aware of the intention, words should not matter. ....... 

Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to the other, not words - RUMI

My painting for this week... a pencil sketch, Ant and Leaf. Now look at this! Is it a very small leaf or a very large ant!!? What's your perception?

Pencil sketch- Ant and Leaf