Want an ice cream,

Ask for it. You go to a cafe. You read the menu card. You tell the waiter to get you one scoop of butterscotch and one scoop of strawberry with chocolate sauce and sprinkle of roasted nuts on top.

You don’t expect him to read your mind. Do you?

Why then are personal relationships so tenuous? I mean you like people and expect them to like you back. That is the most obvious response a human can give. Provided no money is involved!!
You stretch your hand out and the other stretches out a hand, making a handshake.
You smile and the other smiles back.
You make a call and the other picks the call and says hello.

Communication is complete.

Success!

But notice what happens when we are with spouse, child or parent……or even uncles, aunts and friends. We assume that since they are family, since they know us so well, since they profess love for us they must understand.

I may not stretch my hand out, still you got to stretch out yours and complete a hand shake.
I may not tell you I want an ice-cream, but gosh, you love me, you need to read my mind.

I may frown at you but you got to smile. Or may be today I am in a grumpy mood ... so what are you smiling at?
A hug or a chat will set my mood right. But why should I tell you? You say you love me. Then you are supposed to guess.

An aunt enjoys your visits to her place. But when you take time to visit her she hurts you with words like, “so now you are thinking of me. Did you think I was dead?”
She could have said she feels happy when you take time to be with her. But no.

We like playing with words.

This is so typically eastern and more so Indian. The method worked well, 50 years ago, when everyone thought and spoke like that. The guest said no to proffered tea, when he wanted it, and the host who knew, forced the guest to have at least one cup,  to which the guest reluctantly agreed, and all izzz well.
The rules of this word play were known to all and they all played it to perfection.

No one has time for that now. Change the rules of the game. Begin by telling people you love what you really want. That way you are giving them a fair chance to keep you happy.

(Of course, it goes without saying; you need to know, what makes you happy…. And knowing us humans … that may be a tad difficult)

Like they taught us in kindergarten...

if you are happy and you know it

and you really want to show it

if you are happy and you know it, clap your hands.